Start off in Chinatown, where you can pick up a cheap, fake  Rolex watch

or do what I like to do:

• Chinese Massage:

I let a couple thousand years of tradition and expertise give me a neck and back massage, (or foot massage when my dogs start barking).

• I Ching:

When I'm perfectly relaxed I make a pilgrimage to the storefront Buddhist temple to pay my respects, and monitor my future by making a wish -- then dipping my hand into the fortune trough, and pulling out the answer to my destiny.

• Rum Balls:

Then I counter the effects of  a lousy fortune by visiting a Chinese bakery and sampling a chocolate rum ball or perhaps a thick, rich, red bean cake.  Since my fortune wasn't what I'd hoped, I buy a bag of  fortune cookies and have at it.

I like to then counter the effects of rum balls and bean cakes by walking down Canal Street over to the Lower East Side and noshing on a fresh garlicky sour pickle, or  a steamy potato knish.  You can take these treats for a stroll down the streets known as the Bargain District, shopping for deals as you go.

After all that snacking there's only one sure cure: So my next stop is at the Turkish Baths for an hour or so of steaming, shvitzing, splashing (or a "leaf-beating" massage called a platza).  The baths are a piece of authentic NY history which have survived unaffected for 100 years.

At this point, I'm al dente -- stewed to perfection, and ready to go...To Harlem. 

Harlem

And I'm hungry again.   According to Duke Ellington there's only one way to get to Harlem: You must take the A train...I'll take that sound advice.

There are plenty of well known soul food restaurants in Harlem.  But there are only a handful worth visiting to get the real flavor of the neighborhood.   From southern fried chicken to mac and cheese, I know where to go to avoid the tourist traps.  And when my stomach is full and content once again, I head over to a local jazz club and bebop into the night.   It makes for a satisfying day in the city, and it couldn't happen anywhere else on earth.  Won't you join me?

This 8-hour tour is available for all sized groups.
The price is $250 per person and includes:
 

• Services of a licensed private tour guide.
• Snacking in Chinatown and the Lower East Side.
• Massage in Chinatown.
• Turkish Bath. ("Leaf beating" platza massage is extra).
• Subways
• Full Dinner in Harlem.
• Jazz Club cover charge plus two drinks of  your choice.
• Transportation downtown.

This tour begins in Chinatown at 3:00 pm and ends at your leisure.

Call or write to make reservations.  Questions are welcomed.
The tour can be nuanced to meet your particular needs and desires.